


Rockin' Around (in Togami's Dining Hall)

by VelvetDove



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Attempt at Humor, Bad Jokes, Christmas, Christmas Crack, Christmas Dinner, Christmas Party, Christmas Sweater Dress Code, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Alive, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Food Fight, Friendship, Fun, Hanamura Teruteru Being Hanamura Teruteru, Happy, Healthy Relationships, Holidays, Homosexuality, Hugs, Humor, I just want them all to be happy, Jokes, Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito Is Not Ill, M/M, Nice Enoshima Junko, Non-Despair Enoshima Junko, Not Beta Read, Queer Friendly, Sexual Humor, Snow, Swearing, Teenage Drama, Underage Drinking, Winter, cuz i dont think they're adults yet?, i totally bullied kazuichi a bit but i promise i love him, idk im dumb, mild chaos, sure spike chunsoft can rip my heart out of my chest. but they cant rip this fic from my dashboard, this game ffs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28309194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VelvetDove/pseuds/VelvetDove
Summary: Class 77-B and class 78 get together for a Christmas dinner organized by Byakuya Togami. Things go exactly as you’d expect.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, Koizumi Mahiru/Saionji Hiyoko, Kuwata Leon/Maizono Sayaka, Sonia Nevermind/Tanaka Gundham
Comments: 4
Kudos: 81





	Rockin' Around (in Togami's Dining Hall)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I made a [seating chart](https://docs.google.com/document/d/142DdAw_wjDaScWlBucN28UV49diS1OVEWJrOVfqU64g/edit?usp=sharing) so you know where everybody's sittin when the time comes!
> 
> Decided to write this on a whim on the 22nd and with that whim came the trinity of things I absolutely fucking hate to write: multiple characters, dialogue, and (sad) attempts at humor so I am apologizing for this mess right off the bat 
> 
> Otherwise, this is is just a stupid fic written stupidly in the hopes of bringing smiles and maybe a few laughs, so I hope it’s able to do that for you <3 Merry Christmas to all!
> 
> (The characters mostly refer to each other by first name, but I did use surnames + honorifics depending on what I thought fit the characters personality and/or the relationships they might have with each other. It’s my first time using them so please let me know if I made any mistakes so I can fix them!)

Junko, of course, is the one to assault them the _second_ they walk through the door.

“ _Oh. My. GOD!!!_ ” Hajime barely even has time to blink and then she’s _right_ there, jingling the bells sewn into both his and Nagito’s Christmas sweaters. “Matching! _Sooo_ cute, you guys!”

Junko, of course, is also the first one drunk.

Hajime can taste the alcohol on her mouth when she squishes his cheeks and presses her mouth to his to give him a big and sloppy and very wet kiss, and he’s almost envious that Nagito is somehow able to keep himself from turning beet red after receiving the same welcome.

“It’s, ah, good to see you, Enoshima-san,” Nagito says, and very politely wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve. “You’re having fun, I take it?”

“Oh, c’mon, Nagito! Just call me Junko!” She bounces on the balls of her feet and squeals. “I sure am, but now that _you_ guys are here, it’s gonna be even better!” Junko cups her cheeks and her eyes go very, very wide and she looks very, very happy. “Just look at you two - my little jingle gays!”

“ _Jingle_ gays?” Junko has many, many pets names for them as a couple and yet for some reason, the Christmasfication of their relationship status _still_ takes Hajime off guard.

“Yes! Don’t you _love_ it, Hajime? I’m so damn creative sometimes, I just astound myself!”

“Sure. Yeah. Are you and Mukuro wearing matching sweaters as well?”

“Oh! Not our sweaters, no. _But_!” Junko steps back and strikes a pose, flicking her head so her voluminous pigtails sway and glint in the low light of the foyer. “I styled her hair so it would match mine! Don’t we just look _so_ good?”

Nagito and Hajime just stare, because Mukuro’s nowhere in sight and Junko seems convinced that she is.

“Eno – _Junko_ ,” Nagito starts, “where _is_ Ikusaba-san? I’m sure she’s just as radiant as you.” His smile is genuine, if a bit sheepish. “But she’s not with you right now.”

Junko wobbles out of her pose. “Huh? She was totally with me here a second ago!”

 _She literally wasn’t_ , Hajime doesn’t say as she grabs his and Nagito’s hand to pull them from the foyer and into the main hall to look for Mukuro.

As is custom, the best and most chaotic things begin with Junko.

***

They find Mukuro with Peko, both girls lounging in the leather armchairs by the fireplace, engaged in quiet conversation - until they’re interrupted by Hajime and Nagito’s jingling sweaters and Junko’s very shrill pitch as she trills her sister’s name.

“ _Muku-chan_! Peko! I brought _gifts_!”

Mukuro rises while Peko remains seated, but both girls are smiling. 

“Oh,” Mukuro says, giving a slight incline of her head when she addresses them. “Komaeda-kun. Hinata-kun. It’s lovely to see the both of you well.”

Nagito and Hajime give both girls hugs and greetings and exchange pleasantries as Junko weasels her way around them and rests her head in the crook of Mukuro’s neck, smiling wide as she wraps her arms around her sister’s waist.

“See, told you guys! Muku-chan and I have matching hair!” And it’s true; Mukuro has grown her hair out much longer, allowing Junko to style it near identically in the pigtails Junko herself always sports. Their hair is tied up by scrunchies that look like mini Christmas wreaths and the glitter in their hair shimmers like snow.

“Beautiful!” Nagito says - Hajime nods in agreement. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen siblings quite as stunning as you!”

Mukuro reddens, but Hajime imagines Junko has heard every compliment in the book and isn't at all surprised when she smiles and doesn’t bat an eye. “Kiss kiss, my loves!”

Then she’s off, satisfied with the round of attention received from Hajime and Nagito, back to flitting about from group to group to group.

Hajime turns his attention to Peko. “You look gorgeous too, Peko! I hope we didn’t interrupt anything between the two of you.”

“Not at all,” she says. She’s wearing her hair down, keeping it out of her face with a reindeer headband. “Mukuro and I were discussing a potential trip to Europe to spar amidst the beauty of the Austrian countryside.”

“Princess Sonia said she'd love to come with us as well,” Mukuro says. “She wants to bring Gundham to her Novoselic Kingdom.”

“Mm, do you think Sonia intends to make Gundham the prince of her kingdom?” Nagito says, and the girls giggle.

“They do make a lovely couple,” Peko says. 

Hajime doesn’t miss the way her gaze flicks over to Fuyuhiko, who stands a little ways away, engaged in conversation with Mondo and Kiyotaka.

***

“I’d really like to sell ' _The Cream'_ to Fuyuhiko. I think he’ll really enjoy it.”

Hajime gives Nagito the side-eye. “It’s literally just lotion you shoplifted, peeled the labels off of, and then relabeled as ‘ _The Cream_.’”

Nagito raises a finger. “Not just any lotion - _candy apple_ scented lotion. _Seasonal_. Limited time stuff!”

“Still, it’s not as if you _made_ the cream –”

“Mmm _hmm_ , what’s all this about cream, now?” 

Hajime and Nagito turn at the sound of the silky voice to be treated to the very _un_ silky sight of Teruteru viciously wiggling his brows at them, an empty appetizer platter in his hands.

“Ah,” Hajime rubs the back of his neck, “ah, well –”

“Between two pretty, pretty boys like you –” Teruteru’s eyeing them both up and down in a way that makes Hajime _very_ uncomfortable, “– I’m sure you get around to… _making_ … plenty of cream. Lots and _lots_ of cream...”

“Teruteru!” Nagito’s smiling but his tone has all the warmth and friendliness of a cold glacial wind. “Keep talking like that and we’re going to have some _serious_ problems!”

“Oh, don’t you mind me, cher!” He winks at them both. “I’m very good at using my mind to, shall we say, _fill in_ the blanks of things people don’t want to discuss with me.”

“Teruteru, _please_ ,” Hajime doesn’t even bother trying to keep the astonishment from his face - the sheer nerve of such a little man. “ _Please_ don’t be horny – today’s the day of Christ, you know.”

“I am well beyond the Lord’s reach now!” Teruteru cackles as he pats Hajime’s waist - that’s as far as he can reach. “You two carry on – dinner will be ready in an hour, so you best get all your pleasantries good and done.” 

Teruteru makes his way back to the kitchen. Hajime and Nagito look at each other, shrug, and do indeed carry on.

***

Nagito does, in fact, try to sell ‘The Cream’ to Fuyuhiko.

“Oh my _god_ , Nagito,” he says, “what the _fuck_ are you even on about?”

“He is talking about ‘ _T_ _he Cream_!’” Taka supplies, unhelpfully.

“Exactly! A cream made of candied apples!” Nagito leans in, lowers his voice to a whisper and says, “it’s a perfect gift for your lady friend over there, Peko.”

Fuyuhiko smiles up, very sweetly, at Nagito. “Hey, Nagito?”

“Yes?”

“I’m gonna shave your fuckin’ eyebrows off.”

“That is absolutely fair,” and this is the last Nagito speaks of ‘The Cream’ for the rest of the night.

“Anyways!” Hajime is quick to interject, looking at Mondo and Taka. “Do you guys have any plans for the holidays?”

Mondo doesn’t even seem to hear him though, if Hajime is reading into his big dopey grin correctly. “Ah, shit, she got you guys too, hey?”

Hajime makes a strangled little noise in the back of his throat. “What – what are you talking about?”

Mondo smiles and taps a finger to his lips. “Junko. Got her gloss on ya. Same thing happened to me ‘n Taka - walked around for a good hour before Celeste finally told us.”

Hajime makes _another_ strangled noise, but this one’s much more audible as he swipes frantically at his mouth. “ _Nagito_! Why didn’t you say anything?”

He smiles. “You look cute in lip gloss.” 

The four of them laugh while Hajime flushes bright red and rubs the back of his hand against his lips, over and over and over again.

“Hey,” Fuyuhiko says, “what’s with Junko always kissing the bi and gay guys anyway?”

Taka puffs out his chest and proclaims, very loudly, “Junko Enoshima is a woman who wants everything she can’t have!”

“ _Hey_! I _heard_ that!” She’s on the opposite side of the room badgering a very tired and very worn looking Kyoko who starts to scuttle away the _moment_ Junko turns her back. “And I’ll be the first to confirm that you’re absolutely right!”

As if to emphasize, Junko sets Kyoko back in her sights - who is making a desperate attempt to beeline to the relative safety of Makoto - to drag her back into a conversation that is clearly very one-sided.

***

Celeste seems to have told Hifumi his job for the night is to parade her around on his shoulders, and he seems absolutely okay with that.

“Never in a million years would I have thought to have my head between the legs of a beautiful woman!” Hifumi’s chest is puffed out and he speaks in a loud, booming voice, and Hajime is absolutely _not_ okay with the fact that that was a sentence he had to experience tonight.

“You’re almost all the way, Hifumi.” Nagito says. “Now you just have to get yourself facing inwards instead of outwards.”

“ _Nagito_!” Hajime hisses. “Don’t even _start_.”

From above, Celeste chuckles. “It is not like that. Hifumi makes for a very excellent beast of burden. My feet get so very sore in these heels.”

 _Talk about whipped_ , is Hajime’s first thought, and Hifumi only confirms it when he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and grins. “It’s an _honor_ to serve a woman as graceful and refined as Lady Ludenberg!”

They try to make small talk with the two, but Celeste seems more interested in nibbling on cheeses and fruits and receiving compliments, which is nigh impossible with Hifumi interjecting himself every _two words_ they speak in order to praise Celeste or some aspect about her. Even Nagito’s eye is twitching by the end of it.

“Who do you think’s gonna be the bigger simp tonight - Hifumi or Kazuichi?”

“If you mean mass wise, Hifumi.” Hajime presses a hand to his mouth to suppress the _ugliest_ noise at Nagito’s offhand remark. “In terms of everything else, Kazuichi for sure. At least Celeste is _single_.”

***

“Behold – the Four Dark Devas… _OF_ _CHRISTMAS DAY_!”

Four hamsters, swaddled in very small and very detailed hooded sweaters, swarm out of sleeves and the neck of Gundham Tanaka’s Christmas sweater. 

He never disappoints.

“Wow! Look at Cham-P!” Hajime reaches out to pet the fattest hamster, the one sitting on Gundham’s shoulder; Cham-P’s sweater looks like it’s made out of dragon scales, and there’s a little pair of wings protruding from the back.

“Do you like them, you guys?” Sonia’s eyes are wide and bright and her smile is even brighter. “I made their sweaters myself!”

“They’re _amazing_!” Hajime and Nagito speak in unison.

“Just like my Sonia,” Gundham reaches out to wrap an arm around Sonia’s waist, pulling her close. “As you can see, she personalized each Deva’s sweater –” he points to each hamster, “– Invading Black Dragon, Cham-P, dons the scales of the mighty black dragon; Miraoe Silver Falcon, Jum-P, silvered by the beauty of the falcon’s feathers; Star-destroyer Grey Fox, Sun-D, silent and sleek as is the noble fox; Steel Red Elephant, Maga-G, armed with the might and wisdom of the elephant!”

Each hamster, when addressed, does a little spin to show off their sweater. Sun-D and Maga-G even put their hoods up to display the fox ears and elephant tusks.

“Such a talented princess you have, Gundham,” Nagito says with a smile.

“I know how much the Devas mean to Gundham!” Sonia brings a clenched fist to her chest. “I wanted to do something very special for all of them!”

Unlike many others Hajime and Nagito have talked to, Hajime notes that Sonia and Gundham are wearing matching Christmas sweaters.

It makes him very happy to see.

***

“It’s not that I mean to be rude,” Kyoko’s saying as Makoto presses a very large mug of cocoa into her hands, “I do like Junko. _I do_. It’s just that I spent so much time planning the location _and_ decorations with Byakuya – he’s _so_ picky, you know! – and then she _insists_ that there’s ‘not enough pink’ and we 'have to go out immediately' to get _pink decorations_!”

“Junko looks like a pink candy cane tonight,” Hajime says. “Her skirt _and_ her sweater’s white and pink striped. Not to mention, her makeup is _only_ pink.”

“She’s wearing enough pink for all of us,” Makoto agrees.

“That’s what I was thinking, too. I didn’t say anything, though – she looks really good, of course. I told her I’d ask Byakuya and the answer, as expected, was a hard no. Thank god.”

“Ah! So Togami-sama picked the color scheme?” Nagito asks. The dining hall does look very regal - it’s draped in silvers and golds and deep royal blues, soft golden lights strung up around the windows, the Christmas tree by the fireplace and the large dining table in the center of the room. It all ties in very well with the warmth of the dark brown floors and cream-colored walls - Hajime would be lying if he said he didn’t think it was very befitting of a Togami.

“Yep,” Makoto says. “He was very meticulous about everything.”

“His meticulousness does pay off, I have to admit.” Kyoko’s smiling softly.

“You know, he was very meticulous with the seating plan as well.” Makoto’s smiling very wide, like he’s trying to hold back laughter.

“Oh?” Hajime raises an eyebrow.

“Yep – don’t know if you’ve had the chance to look at the names, but you’d have noticed that Byakuya placed himself at one end of the table, and Toko at the very opposite end. And guess what?”

Kyoko stifles a giggle behind her hand. “He placed her right beside the Imposter Byakuya. Like he’s trying to pawn her off or something.”

***

Naturally, it comes as no surprise that Toko - somehow managing to be uncomfortably depressed and absolutely starstruck at the same time - is clinging to an _exceptionally_ irritated Togami like a leech.

“P-please, M- _Master_ ,” Toko’s saying, and Hajime doesn’t even have to look at Togami to know he’s _bristling_ , “I promise I-I’ll be good! Let me s-sit next to y-you! I promise I w-won’t be weird!”

“That’s impossible.” Togami says. “The reality of your existence in itself is weird.”

“Togami-sama,” Nagito croons, “that’s not a very nice thing to say to your _girlfriend_!”

“K-Komaeda-kun!” Toko clasps her hands beneath her chin and her eyes have flown wide open - she went from depressed to ecstatic in a matter of _seconds._ “D-do you – do you r-really think I-I’m his g-girlfriend? Do w-we… l-look _good together_?” 

“Absolutely! In fact, I think you guys are the most beautiful couple here!”

Togami pins Nagito with a look that clearly says _I hate you._

Hajime will admit that it is kind of fun to watch people get a rise out of Togami.

Togami shifts his gaze to Hajime. “I don’t recall – are you the competent one in this relationship?” And before Hajime can even respond he’s already saying: “You know what, I’m sure _neither_ of you are. I shouldn’t waste my breath asking such foolish questions.”

Hajime’s not particularly offended. This _is_ the Togami they all know and have come to begrudgingly love. “Well, aside from that, we just wanted to thank you for putting this together and hosting everybody. Togami-sama,” he adds quickly.

“It is nice to have everyone together.” Hajime learned, long ago, to never mistake Togami’s _smirk_ for a _smile._ “It reminds me just how greatly I supersede all of you.”

Sometimes, though, there’s a certain _fondness_ hidden within the things Togami says and does. Hajime knows that this is what’s going on at the moment; at the very last second, Togami’s mouth lifts from smirk to smile, and he looks _happy_ as he walks away, even with Toko hot on his heels.

***

There’s a small group of people gathered around Sayaka.

Ibuki, of course, is the one flouncing around the group, singing some sort of hashed up remix of a classic Christmas song. Akane stands with her hand on Sayaka’s shoulder, and Aoi is holding a pastry up to Sayaka’s mouth like an offering.

“I keep tellin’ ya, Sayaka, there’s no room for a mood when you’re about to have food!” Akane pumps her fist in the air, buzzing in excitement at the very mention of food.

“Yeah!” Aoi says. “And besides, it’s Christmas - there’s so much to smile about!”

“Ibuki has always said that boys are just toys!” 

Hearing what her friends are saying to her and taking one look at her face says it all. Boy troubles.

“Oh! _Oh_!” Ibuki stops in her tracks when she sees Hajime and Nagito approaching. “But _these_ boys are _not_ toys!”

“Ah – thanks, Ibuki. I guess.” Hajime rubs the back of his neck and smiles at Sayaka. “Things not going so well with Leon?”

“Not really.” She finally takes the pastry from Aoi and takes a small bite. “We’ve both been really busy lately, and I guess it’s taken a bit of a toll on our relationship.”

“That’s totally normal though!” Aoi says, pulling Sayaka into a hug. “It just takes time for those kinds of things to iron out!”

“Iron is important!” Ibuki says, tapping her head. “You need lots of iron - you’ll be anemic if you don’t get enough iron!”

“That’s why she’s gotta **_EAT!_ ** Nagito, Hajime, help me hold her still! I’ll force feed her lots and lots and _lots_ of red meat!”

“I really don’t think that’s the solution, Akane,” Nagito says. He smiles at Sayaka. “Have you guys tried talking to each other about it?”

“That’s the thing,” she says. “Every time I try he just gets… frustrated or something, I don’t really know, and he leaves.”

“This is why Ibuki thinks all boys should be more like Hajime and Nagito! Let the boys love the boys – let the girls love the girls!”

 **“** ** _LET THEM BE GAY!!!_** **”** Akane roars, drawing the attention of nearly _all_ of their classmates.

“Akane, oh my god!” Aoi giggles, hiding her face behind her hands.

Somewhere in the hall, Junko and Hiyoko yell out in unison. “ _Preach it, sister!_ ”

“A-Anyways, um – _oh, crap_!” Sayaka begins to blush, turning her head to the side. “That totally got his attention!”

Sure enough, when Hajime turns to look, Leon’s looking at them from his place between Sakura and Kazuichi.

“You really shouldn’t have turned around, sweetheart,” Nagito drawls. “Now he _knows_ we were talking about him.”

Hajime opens his mouth to apologize, but Sayaka stops him. “Don’t worry about it, Hajime. Honestly, I think a part of me kind of wanted him to know.”

***

They end up with Leon, Sakura and Kazuichi next - partly because they’re the closest group, partly because Hajime and Nagito are exceptionally nosy and want to get some sort of idea about what’s going on.

But, as per usual, Kazuichi is the first to open his mouth to talk at a million miles per hour.

“H-Hey! You guys were talking to Sonia and Gundham earlier right? _Right_? How were they doing? Did they seem tense? Did Gundham seem mad? Did _Sonia_ seem mad? Are they fighting? Are they going to break up? Do you think they’re going to break up? Would you be willing to _sabotage_ if I –”

“Seriously, Kazuichi. Gundham and Sonia are very happy together.”

“You’re such a _bummer,_ Hajime.”

“You know who _doesn’t_ seem very happy together?” Nagito bounces on his feet and grins at Leon. “Leon and Sayaka.”

“Surely you could have done that with more tact, Komaeda.” Hajime is always surprised by how soothing Sakura’s voice is.

Leon sighs. “He’s not really wrong, though.”

“Still. It’s no excuse to be so careless.”

“I’m sure she told you guys that we’re not on the best terms right now.”

“Yeah,” Hajime says. “We’re not here to give you trouble or anything, we just –”

“No, no, I know,” Leon says. “I don’t mean to be an asshole to her or anything it’s just – we’ve only been together for a couple of months and I’m kind of, I don’t know, emotionally constipated? And I’ve never really had to deal with that before.”

“I’ve been telling Leon to simply tell her that,” Sakura says.

“I would listen to Sakura,” Nagito says. “Communication is key, after all.”

“What the hell do _you_ of all people know about communication?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Kazuichi! All I _do_ know is that I’m in a functional relationship while _you’re_ the one plotting to sabotage the relationship of a girl that’s not even remotely interested in you!”

Sakura disguises her laughter by pretending to cough while Leon whistles low. “You really can’t come back from that one, man.”

Kazuichi doesn’t bother trying.

In the end, Leon decides that he _will_ talk to Sayaka during dinner. They wish him luck, chat a little longer, and go on their way.

***

Hajime and Mahiru watch, astounded, as Hiyoko and Nagito give each other the stupidest and most vulgar nicknames possible.

“Komaeda Nagito,” Hiyoko says with a bow, “Herald of the Homos.”

“Saionji Hiyoko,” Nagito says, returning the bow, “Listener of Lesbians.”

“Ass Annihilator.”

“Pussy Pulverizer.” 

“Dick Destroyer.”

“Cunt Corraller.”

It goes on and on and on, so Hajime turns to Mahiru and gestures to the camera in her hands. “You gonna put any of the photos you take in the yearbook?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah! Absolutely.” She seems grateful for the distraction from _whatever_ it is Nagito and Hiyoko are doing. “I’m hoping to get everyone together for a big group photo at the end of the dinner! It will be great for the other students to see the Ultimates all spending time together!”

“That’s a great idea! I’m sure –”

“You’re such a nasty trashy _hoe_ , Nagito!” Hiyoko’s squeal interrupts Hajime, and she jumps so Nagito catches her and tucks her against his torso for a hug.

“Jeez, Hiyoko!” Mahiru laughs. “You never hug _me_ like that!”

“Hey now!” Hiyoko shakes a finger at Mahiru. “Nagito and I are Closet Cousins. We came out on the same day, remember!”

Both Hajime and Mahiru laugh. “Hiyoko,” she says, “you never let me forget!”

***

Chiaki, Chihiro and Mikan are cuddled together on the rug by the fireplace. Chiaki’s sitting in the middle, the other two watching intently as she plays on her device.

“U-Um, are there any games about hospitals, or nurses?” Mikan is nibbling at her bottom lip, nervous for reasons that aren’t immediately apparent.

“There’s a game called Two Point Hospital you might like.” Chiaki doesn’t take her eyes off the screen. “It’s super cute and fun. There’s also Silent Hill – there’s a lot of nurses in those games.”

Chihiro pipes up immediately. “For you, Mikan, I definitely wouldn’t recommend Silent Hill.”

Hajime and Nagito are peering over their heads to see what Chiaki’s playing on her Switch.

“I dunno, she might be okay with Silent Hill. She seems to be handling Doom Eternal just fine.”

Mikan squeals, Chihiro whips around and Chiaki dies on purpose when they hear Hajime speak. They smile up at them, including Mikan once she calms down.

“Well, Doom Eternal isn’t really scary,” Chiaki says. “It’s just fast-paced and action-packed. Silent Hill is very atmospheric and has a lot of creepy designs and insinuations to go along with them, and the camera angles in those games - especially the older ones - can make it so much worse.”

“We were actually talking about making our own game earlier!” Chihiro beams up at them.

“Y-yeah,” Mikan says. “I was going to think of ideas, a-and then Chiaki would turn it into a coherent p-plot, and Chihiro would do a-all of the programming!”

“Wow!” Nagito says. “With the three of you working on a game together, I’m sure it would be phenomenal!”

Chiaki smiles. “We’re thinking of getting together sometime next week. I’ll let you know how it goes if we end up doing it.”

Just then, the doors to the kitchen open up to reveal Teruteru flanked by Nekomaru, Yasuhiro, and the large silhouette they’ve come to know as Imposter Togami.

Teruteru bows and rises with a huge grin plastered across his face. “Dinner is _served_!”

***

“You,” Togami says once the food has been laid out and everyone is seated, “were supposed to be there to keep her away from me.”

He’s pointing at Imposter Togami, seated by a quivering Toko who is, without a doubt, completely enraged by the seat the real Togami arranged for her.

“As you can see,” Imposter Togami says, “it would have mattered little. She is enamored with you and only you - the true image of the one and only Togami Byakuya.”

“M-Master! I-I’ll do anything, I s-swear! Any command, any i-insult, any punishment… I’ll take it a- _all_! L-let me be w-with you!”

“ _Aaaahhhhhh_!” Ibuki wails, “Mr. Real Togami, don’t you hear her call? Don’t you _feel_ her siren seduction?”

Togami gives a hefty sigh and takes a very long and very deep drink from his glass of whiskey. “That isn’t _seduction_. That’s fearmongering.”

Makoto chokes on his water.

“Before we begin,” Togami continues, rising from his seat, “I would like to give a quick speech.”

“ _Speech!?_ ” Nekomaru bellows from the other end of the table. “I’ve been workin’ all day – let’s eat _now_!”

“ _Damn straight_!” Akane slams her fists on the table. 

“Just calm the hell down!” Mondo says. “Byakuya will only take a minute.”

“Thank you, Mondo. As I was saying,” he looks around the table at each and everyone of them, addressing them all as he speaks. “I’d like to thank you all for coming to this event I’ve organized and for being so cooperative and agreeable. It’s no secret that those who come from the Togami family don’t _truly_ have any family at all. This means that all of you, my fellow Ultimates, are the closest thing I have.” He smiles again - the real one. “I want you all to know how grateful I am to be able to spend my Christmas with you, and how fortunate I am to be able to not only call you my peers, but my friends as well. Additionally, I’d also like to give my thanks to my good friends Kirigiri Kyoko –” Togami looks to his right to address her, then to his left at Makoto, “– and Naegi Makoto for their hand in the organization of this event.”

There’s applause, cheers, and whistling all around the table.

“Now!” Togami raises his glass to toast. “I want to wish classes 77-B and 78 a very Merry Christmas!”

“ _Cheers_!” Yasuhiro shouts. “Let’s drink to that!”

There’s smiles and laughter and clinking glasses, even after everyone has started eating. Hajime has a good vantage point from his seat at the table; Sayaka and Leon are talking and smiling, seemingly back on better terms. Sonia has Cham-P and Maga-G in her hands, holding them out to an impressed Celeste. Akane and Nekomaru seem to be competing to see who can eat the most food in the least amount of time. Junko and Ibuki are –

Oh.

_Oh no._

“Nagito?” Hajime whispers, nudging him beneath the table and pointing over to the two girls. “That’s a recipe for disaster if I’ve ever seen one.”

“A drunk Junko and a sober Ibuki, who won’t remain sober for long.” Nagito chuckles. “I can only imagine what they’re giggling about now.”

At some point, Yasuhiro wobbles his way down to Hajime’s side of the table and kneels between Hiyoko and Mahiru.

“Listen,” he says. “Teruteru’s _freaking me out_ , man! He’s saying all kinds of crazy shit and he keeps slipping in and out of this accent and –”

“Nuh-uh!” Mahiru says. “No way – this side of the table is for the _girls_ and the _gays_ only!”

Hajime’s never seen a man deflate so fast in his life.

“Besides, you were totally a buffer.” Hiyoko’s pointing to Teruteru and a very uncomfortable looking Kyoko. “Teruteru’s perving on her now because you’re not there!”

Whether out of a sense of duty or defeat, Hiro returns to his seat.

For a while, things are pleasant and continue without a hitch. But it’s custom for everyome to drink during Christmas dinners, and drink _a lot_ , so Hajime can’t say he's totally taken off guard when Junko and Ibuki stand on top of their chairs, wobbling as they hold hands and shriek: “ _FOOD FIGHT!!!”_

There’s a pause, and then Kazuichi sends a pie flying towards Gundham and when it hits the target, it gets all over Sonia too.

 _Several_ things happen in very quick succession.

Food is no longer being eaten; it’s flying through the air and then all of sudden so is Sakura and Akane and Nekomaru, _sparring_ with each other in _midair_ ; Junko and Ibuki are on the table, singing as they skip through food and sauces and creams and the shrieking might belong to Teruteru but Hajime’s not really sure; Mikan’s hiding beneath the table in tears and Hajime would go as far as to wager that _both_ Togami’s would like to join her but then the real Togami is being chased by Toko who doesn’t really look like Toko anymore - her eyes are all red and wrong and her tongue is lolling out _way_ past her chin; there’s clattering and clashing and screaming and laughter and then everybody’s up, throwing food or running for cover.

Kazuichi has somehow managed to clamber up into the chandelier and he’s pelting Gundham with biscuits and meats and plates.

“ ** _GUNDHAM FUCKIN’ TANAKAAAAA!_** ” He screams it like he’s a member of AC fucking DC or something. “Got a new fursona yet? Does Sonia know you jack it to _yiff porn_?”

There’s a flurry of cloth and dark clothing and four _very_ angry hamsters and then Kazuichi’s flying across the room with Gundham, getting socked repeatedly in the face as they soar.

“Wow,” says Nagito - who is completely untouched by the various flying food and liquids - “I don’t think I’ve seen anything quite like this.”

“Neither have I.” Chiaki pops out from beneath the table with a very distraught Mikan. “And I don’t plan to hang around in here to wait until it’s over.”

They follow Chiaki to the foyer and out the door, Nagito and Hajime shielding both girls from harm all the way out.

They’re greeted by Yasuhiro, sitting on the front step, calm and collected as ever. “Heh. Fuckin’ _mayhem_ , bros. Togami’s gonna be _pissed_.”

They all situate themselves on the step beside Yasuhiro. Hajime curls up against Nagito and Mikan curls up against Chiaki. The night sky is dark, full of stars, snow drifting softly from the sky. It’s complete serenity, and from the front door, left slightly ajar, they can hear the sounds of laughter and yelling and clattering, the chaos of their friends seeping out into what would otherwise be perfect and calm.

Hajime wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Not me crying while making the seating chart because I had to do basic math to figure out how many people went on each side 🗿
> 
> I am really sorry if your favorite characters didn't get a lot of time! This was actually really stressful to write because there's so many characters and even in things like this I find characterization to be really daunting. I'm sorry for putting Yasuhiro, Nekomaru and Imposter in the kitchen and neglecting a snippet for them - I honestly had no idea what to write for them. I know they get ignored a lot :(


End file.
